Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
