Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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