Define "chronic" masturbator.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
