bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
