wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Naked. naked and bneed help.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize