Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
