The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
