That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The uberlube is also flammable
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i out mim tonsoeep
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