did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
