He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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