Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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