forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
