All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we're so committed to being not committed
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