That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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