You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
