You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
