apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you never un-have a 4some
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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