that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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