the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
