Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
