She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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