Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
