Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
