I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
