i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
