You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
