I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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