Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
