Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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