There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
