i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Acid is not a monday night drug
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
