im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
