I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
