I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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