Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
