are you so shy because you have an std?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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