i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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