Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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