we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
