her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
