i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
