haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
