so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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