Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize