I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
