rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
