Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
