My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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