Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
