i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
