Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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