Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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