dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
