oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize