Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(904): View more from Florida

my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.

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(512): View more from Texas

My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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(214): View more from Texas

Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

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(206): View more from Washington

And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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(585): View more from New York

You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.

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(727): View more from Florida

"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.

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