her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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