Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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