i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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