I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
