dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
