I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
