i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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