5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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