Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I didn't notice because vodka
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
