the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My first STD was from a foam party
Porn is love you can see.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
