Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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