You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
