i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
